The HP Project
by Me12
Summary: Hell has frozen over! Hogwarts students camping? Read to find out!
1. scene 1

Ever wonder what would happen if five Hogwarts students were to go on a trip into the woods and film it? (Ha Blair Witch knock off) Anyway please read and review. If you like I'll keep going if not I'll cancel the story, so here we go.  
  
It was a normal day at Hogwarts and everybody was having breakfast. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were talking when three owls landed in front of them.  
  
Harry: Hey look a letter…its from Dumbledore and he wants to see me right away!  
  
Hermione: Me too.  
  
Ron: Oh no I wonder if he found out that it was me who set off that smoke bomb…  
  
Harry: What did you say?  
  
Ron: Oh nothing, he wants to see me too. Hehe he.  
  
As Harry and the Potterets walk up to Dumbledore's office they notice that Lavender and Malfoy are following them  
  
Hermione: What are you doing here?  
  
Lavender: I got a note from professor Dumbledore?  
  
Malfloy: Me too  
  
1 As they all enter his office Professor Dumbledore asks all of them to sit down  
  
Prof.: Now you are probaly wondering why I called you here. Well I have noticed that all of you have been doing very well in Muggle Studies and I am proud that you…  
  
Malfloy: Get on with it pops!  
  
Prof: Well as I was saying, you have been chosen for a special assignment. You will take a three-day camping expedition in the muggle world, you will camp as muggles, and not use any magic. You will be provided with a map and cameras to film your experience, there is a light "camcorder" and an old-fashioned camera that's bloody hell to carry. The woods are pretty safe except there is an old legend that a greasy witch lives there and is supposed to be related to Snape, but that's no important. Any questions?  
  
Hermione: Is there a library there?  
  
Lavender: Can I bring make-up?  
  
Ron: what's a camera?  
  
Malfloy: Do I have to come?  
  
Harry: Does Malfloy have to come? 


	2. scene 2

It's the next day and the five students have arrived at a forest  
  
Harry: OK we have a compass, a map, the cameras, food and water.  
  
Hermione: OK the map says we go straight ahead.  
  
Ron: What a load of crap we go to the right!  
  
Lavender: What the hell are you talking about? You don't even have the map!  
  
Ron: I know but I felt let out of the map plotting.  
  
Malfloy: If Weasly guides us then we will be lost in 5 minutes!  
  
Ron: I'm never wrong, now follow me!  
  
Harry: Umm Ron the forest is this way…  
  
Ron: Oh yeah!  
  
Hermione: Well okay we go this way, I'm never wrong…  
  
5 minutes later…  
  
Lavender: Great were lost!  
  
Malfloy: I think we were better off with Weasly guiding us!  
  
Harry: Well we might as well eat.  
  
Ron: Oh what the bloody hell? This stuff tastes like toilet paper!  
  
Hermione: Ron that is the toilet paper…  
  
Ron: Mmm tasty!  
  
All give him strange looks  
  
Ron: Oh well turn the camera off.  
  
Lavender: Ron you're recording…  
  
Ron: Right.  
  
Malfloy: Well I guess we set up camp now…who's sleeping in what tent?  
  
Lavender: Oh Draco…(gives suggesting pose) I can bunk with you…  
  
Draco: Dear lord help me… 


	3. scene 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the HP characters.  
  
It's now nighttime and the 5 Hogwarts students have successfully pitched up 2 tents. Harry, Hermione, and Ron are in one and Lavender and Malfloy are in the other. It's about 12:00 o clock and Harry is talking in the camera.  
  
Harry: It's weird having all this attention at school and having everybody know your name. I mean what boy, wouldn't like all the attention he gets…hell I do, and also having the title "the boy who lived," and banished the most powerful wizard ever (starts cracking a smile)  
  
Hermione slaps him  
  
Hermione: Knock it off, give me that damn camera! (Starts talking in the camera) Hello I'm Hermione and I'm the most intelligent, prettiest girl at Hogwarts and I want everyone to know that…  
  
Ron: Stop showing off (steals the camera and starts talking into it) I think people should see who the cameraman really is. I mean I never get any attention, I'm always in Harry's shadow, stupid git, look at him, that stupid scar, the great jet black hair, and those damn green eyes, one day I swear I'm going to get some rope and a crowbar and…I mean what was I saying?  
  
As Ron continues to talk in to the camera they hear a rustling outside the tent…  
  
Hermione: Ahhhhhhhhh it's the witch of the forest…  
  
A creature of some kind with goop and paint comes in their tent…  
  
Harry: Ahhhh shoot it! Oh wait its just Malfloy…  
  
Malfloy: Help Me! Lavender tried to give me a makeover while I was sleeping!  
  
Lavender: Wait Malfloy I haven't applied the facial cream yet!  
  
About an hour later Hermione screams in horror…  
  
Hermione: Ron, your damn rat got into our bags!  
  
Ron: What he's harmless, besides I have more company.  
  
Harry: He ate all the Bott's Every Flavor Beans…  
  
Ron screams in terror and passes out.  
  
Harry: Finally more room (shoves Ron out)  
  
Another hour passes and they hear another noise…  
  
Harry: What's that?  
  
Hermione: Don't worry its probably just Ron  
  
Ron: No I'm right here!  
  
Harry: What the bloody hell are you doing in here?  
  
Ron: I snuck in here about 20 minutes ago and I was watching Hermione sleep…I mean I heard noises so I came in here.  
  
Hermione: Then what was that noise?  
  
Ron: Oh that's Malfloy and Lavender, she took of all her makeup and Malfloy fainted, let me tell you she's not a pretty sight, so she had to drag him back in the tent. 


	4. scene 4 The plot thickens

After a very ludicrous night (wow I've never used that word before) the five students have been walking for 2 hours when someone finally breaks the silence…  
  
Lavender: Were going to die! I'm cold, I'm hungry, and I have no more makeup, dear god has the whole world gone mad!  
  
Hermione slaps her upside her head…  
  
Hermione: Pull yourself together, were no lost…we just don't know where we are…  
  
Harry: Well give me the map, we have to be close to the port key.  
  
Lavender: I don't have the map I thought Malfloy had it!  
  
Malfloy: Oh the map, yeah well see (obviously panicking) it's in, well a man has his needs and I went over there, and ………………toilet paper!  
  
Harry: What? You mean you…  
  
Malfloy: I'm sorry, if it wasn't for Weasly eating the damn toilet paper I wouldn't had have to use it!  
  
Ron: We're screwed!  
  
Malfloy: I can go back and get it, I mean I'm pretty sure that half the forest is visible…  
  
Harry: No way!  
  
Hermione: OK, umm…the compass that's all we need …we're still okay.  
  
Ron: Umm yeah about that…well you know those nice needles and shiny things, well I thought they were game pieces and I kinda…smasheditonarock…  
  
Hermione: You what!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll kill you!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ron: (being choked) I …think…we're…screwed!  
  
Later that day…  
  
Hermione: Ok I remember these trees…so I guess were going the right way…  
  
Harry: Ooo that's good, the trees are reliable, they only look..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Before harry know what's happening he's fell down a steep hill……  
  
Ron: Harry are you okay!?!!?!?!?!??!  
  
Harry: Yeah, the ground broke my fall…holy crap, what the bloody hell?!  
  
Just as the group finds a safe way down the hill Harry points out a strange assortment of sticks spelling the word "grease"…  
  
Malfloy: What the hell is going on…  
  
Lavender: Ahhh look at this!  
  
The group comes up to a rock and it has some kind substance on it…  
  
Hermione: Grease…  
  
Ron: Oh calm down the "witch" won't do anything…  
  
Distant voice: Yes I will….  
  
Ron: No you won't…you don't have the guts…  
  
DV: Just wait big red!  
  
Harry: We're goners!  
  
Hermione: Goodbye mum and dad!  
  
Lavender: I can't die I'm too young and there is so much make-up I haven't put on…  
  
Ron: So much candy I haven't eaten…  
  
Malfloy: In the words of Weasly I think its now safe to say…"WE'RE SCREWED"! 


	5. Scene 5

A/N: Stupid me has been spelling Mr. Malfoy's name wrong *smacks head* stupid, stupid ,stupid, stupid. Anyway on with the story.  
  
It is now night 2 of their adventure and Hermione has read 23 books, Lavender is busy trying to find some remaining make-up in her bag. Draco is planning his will, Ron is crying his eyes out because there is no more candy and Harry is trying to give himself a haircut (even thought it won't help). Suddenly there is a rustling outside and something is hitting the tent with a stick…  
  
Hermione: We're going to die, we're going to die…  
  
Harry: Don't worry Hermione, I'll save you…after Ron goes outside to check what it is…  
  
Ron: Me, how about Malfoy!  
  
Malfoy: No way you do it…  
  
Lavender: Don't worry Malfoy, I'll protect you…  
  
Malfloy: Ok I'm going…  
  
Lavender: NOOOOOOOOOO! (she clings to him with the jaws of life)  
  
Hermione: Well some one has to go….  
  
(stupid survivor music comes on)  
  
There is a close up shot of Hermione and she has a piece of parchment and a quill, and she uses all the bags as a table…  
  
Hermione: Personally I don't like Malfoy, I mean he did use the map to do his…well…unmentionables and he is the reason why we are stuck out here…  
  
Harry: I don't know I think we should send Malfoy, he does always make fun of me…stupid git, just can't wait till I get him back and then…(He goes on raving about how Lavender, Ron, Hermione, and himself should unite and form the "We Hate Draco Lets All Band Together Liberation Front or W.H.D.L.A.B.T.L.F as we would all call it.)  
  
Ron: * sobbing * Candy…gone…no more…can't live…oh yeah I think Malfoy should go.  
  
Lavender: (big face shot)I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to all the girls back at school, I let you down * sob * look at me, no make-up, we resulted using my magazines as toilet paper, and I'm so scared right now…  
  
Hermione: Hey lavender we have to limit our time on expressing our feelings towards the person we want off…  
  
Malfoy: I'm so rich and I cant go out there (smiling into the camera) and yeah…  
  
After the results were in it was decided that ……opps sorry out of time today! Tune in later too see who will face evil in the face… 


End file.
